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Musings from a quirky brain...

Monday, April 18, 2011

It's a Pride Thing

It’s been a long, long time since I wrote anything on my blog. But since BlogSpot blogs and Google e-mail addresses are like death and taxes (“in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except…”) they never go away.

My start didn’t fizzle due to a lack of inspiration. The past year-and-a-half has been interesting and challenging, and indeed, I have half a page of blog entry ideas. Health issues have taken center stage in a way, true enough, but that actually has provided some of my inspiration. Homeschooling is the mix of excitement and frustration, energy and enervation that it has been for us for the last two decades. Family, friends, church, neighbors… no excuse not to write there.

One reason I chose not to write on my blog was something I struggle with so very often. It’s the good, better, best argument. Is this the best thing that I can spend my time on right now? Will this help me or someone else grow spiritually? Will it build relationships or something else of lasting value? Do I care whether it’s the best thing? Or would I rather do something better, like exercise? Plan meals for the next week? Read an engrossing book? Or something good like clean out my inbox? Organize my recipes? Do the laundry? Or do I want to play a mindless computer game like Bejeweled Blitz (a current addiction) and simply waste my time?

But as much as I would like to say that the business of life kept me from writing, I cannot. No… I have a confession. I did not want to spend my precious time that I could be using to play Bejeweled Blitz (heavy sarcasm, please understand) writing something that it is likely that no one would read.

So… It’s a pride thing. I did not want to drop my pearls of wisdom someplace where no one would read them. I preferred to make my humorous, cogent, encouraging, challenging, satirical, uplifting, educational, all or none of the above remarks on Facebook or a forum where I knew that they would be seen and perhaps commented upon.

It seems that every time I begin to pride myself on being humble, God shows me how very far I have to go in order to be truly humble. I anticipate a fight with this until my dying day. But it is a good fight, a worthy fight. One of the best fights. And I will continue to fight.

And one of the ways I will continue to fight is, God helping me, writing in my blog. Telling, in whatever words available to me what God has done. Delighting in Him, and hopefully portraying my delight to others. For when we delight in God, He is the best glorified.

It is what it is. And I trust that whoever needs to read it will.


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